In Memory of Pudge (May 2001-September 30th 2016)

My beloved Pudge succumbed to kidney failure on September 30, 2016. He was 15 1/2 years old and lived a good life. He was my constant companion during a very dark time of my life when I was quite ill, bedridden and in  a wheel chair. Whenever I was sick, he never left my side. It was my first experience with a Burmese and I will forever be in love with them.

Pudge was rescued from someone who shouldn't have been breeding cats. My daughter went to get him because I was housebound at the time. The gentleman told her that he was a Siamese and he had to hunt for the kittens. He dragged Pudge out from under the living room couch and that is how he became mine.

A few weeks after I got him he was snuggling in my lap, shivering. I could tell he had a fever, so I rushed him to the vet. That was when I found out that he was actually a Burmese and not a Siamese. The vet said that Pudge had survived distemper as a baby but as a result he had a very bad intestinal infection. I almost lost him then, but Pudge was a fighter. He survived the distemper and the ensuing infection and came back strong and healthy.

I remember the winter Olympics in 2002. We had a floor model TV and Pudge sat in front of the TV and watched several of the sports. I couldn't believe it but I watched his head go back and forth as he watched different events, I even took pictures because I knew people wouldn't believe me :) They are packed away right now but once I find them I will post a few.

Pudge started out life name Fudge because of his colouring. But as the years went on, he put on a few pounds and affectionately became called Pudgie. He loved that name and would always answer or come when I called him.

It still breaks my heart that he is gone, although I know he will be waiting for me. I have a plaque with his name and paw print but can't bring myself to look at it. It is safely put away for the day when I will remember the happier times and not grieve so much that he is gone. I know that he is happier now but that doesn't stop the hurt.

 There will never be another cat like my beloved Pudge. He was definitely one of a kind and will forever be in my heart for that reason. Pudge, I love you and always will, Know that I think of you every day and look forward to seeing you in the hereafter.

I am now a published pattern writer!

I just have to crow a bit. I have a published pattern at http://www.knittersedge.com. It is a hand knit beginner's sock pattern that I have been refining since 2007 and I finally feel that it is good enough to present to the general public. At lot of tweaking and rewriting went into this pattern because I wanted to make sure it was suitable from beginners on. Learn how to take measurements and knit your sock to fit your foot! Please visit the site for more information and to support your local hand crafters.

Happy Holidays to All!!

As usual, it has been a long time since I last posted. It has been a very busy year for me. I met the man of my dreams and became engaged and am now going through what I hope will be an uneventful divorce. Our wedding is planned for 2016 but may be sooner if the divorces come through quickly.

Other than that I have been happily knitting and crocheting. I have just started back up machine knitting again and am thoroughly enjoying it. I hope to have pictures up soon.

Happy holidays to everyone and all the best in 2015!

Who would have thunk it?

As I have mentioned previously, I have chronic fatigue syndrome and live severely sleep deprived. I am on lots of medications and herbal supplements in my quest for a half decent night's sleep but I have yet to attain it. In any event, one of the symptoms of this condition is nausea a lot of the time. Mornings are no exception and I have a difficult time stomaching anything except yogurt after I get up.

Being on a fixed income, I can't afford store bought yogurt, so I invested in a yogurt maker and make my own. For whatever reason, I didn't follow the directions correctly when I first started making yogurt. It called for half a cup of powdered milk, which I left out, probably because I didn't have any at the time. I ended up with a semi solid form of yogurt, which I thought was the way home made was supposed to turn out, and for years I have left out the powdered milk. Until lately.

A few weeks ago I went on the quest for a perfect yogurt. I wasn't happy with the runny substitute that I had been consuming for quite a few years. So I pulled out the directions and lo and behold - I was missing powdered milk! Well, not believing that 5 tablespoons of this powder could bring about such a change, I did some research on the internet and then bought some powdered milk to try. Wow! What a difference! I now have wonderfully firm, delicious tasting yogurt that I would be proud to serve anyone.

The moral of the story? If at first you don't succeed, read the directions again :)

Wow! It has been a while!

I can't believe that is has been over a year since my last post! Well I guess I can, considering what a year it has been, but onwards and upwards. It was a very difficult and chaotic year, but in May my transfer finally came through to move to another town and away from my stalking ex husband. As anyone with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia can attest to, the move took everything out of me and I am just starting to get on my feet again.  This will hopefully be the last move for a long time to come.

So here I am in Belleville again, enjoying having city transit, a big library, a YMCA and sports centre, my doctor and so much more. The last time I was in Belleville I was bedridden and in a wheelchair so, although I remember a bit about the town, I have been learning the town all over again. I finally got a library card and have been listening to audio books while I machine knit in the evenings and I hope to take swimming lessons in the fall. Yes, I am definitely happy to be back here.

But as with all things, with the good comes the bad. I have finally been tackling the mess that used to be my yarn collection or STASH we crafters fondly refer to it as. I have had it boxed up since I left my abusive son in 2006, knowing that going through it was going to dredge up painful memories and a lot of hurt. I have finally been going through that chore in my unpacking and it has been hard. Sweater lots of yarn have been diminished to a few balls here and there or yarn has been rendered unusable and has to be thrown out. I literally am left with bits and pieces and have been going through trying to find some way to use up these odds and ends so I can clear out the space and move on. Much of my knitting has been for Mittens for Akkol, a charity that I have been involved with since its inception. We make warm items that are taken over to Kazhastan twice a year, socks in the late fall and sweater sets for the graduates of the orphanages in the spring. This is my pet project that I love knitting for and this year, owing to the wrath of my son, they will become the recipients of many pairs of mittens made out of lonely balls of Lopi yarn. Although I am reaching the limits of my mitten making attention span, it has been nice to see these single balls of yarn be turned into something that is both wanted and usable. And my son thought he had the best of me! NOT!

I am being stalked!

I thought kicking my ex out of the house would solve things, but no. In fact, things have become worse. He has been stalking me, keeping up on my every move, spying through my balcony window and watching me at night. He has threatened to get a gun and just start shooting everyone in the building. We have had the police involved but for some reason they don't want to press charges, and I can't get a peace bond because the justice of the peace thinks he should be charged! In the meantime, I live in my apartment with sheets over the windows, hiding from him.



The good news is twofold. I am moving into a subsidized apartment in the middle of August, which will give me some financial security. Also the building is a secure building, with buzzers to get in and cameras in the hallways. I will breathe a huge sigh of relief once I have moved, because even if he tries something, he will be videotaped and I will have proof for the police. Here he can walk right up to my apartment door and no one in the building will call the police because the landlord has told everyone that having the police here is grounds for an eviction. I have since learned that this is illegal, but it still has everyone scared. I am counting down the days to the move. I still plan on moving to Belleville, but for now I will still be living in Napanee. It isn't the best solution, but I really need to be in subsidized housing as I can't afford market rents on my own.


I have managed to pack quite easily. I started early and have been working on it about 2 - 3 hours a night. My fibromyalgia and kicked up but it has been manageable and I haven't crashed, so that is good. I don't have that much left to pack, so I am doing well in that department. I will leave most of the stuff packed after the move and just wait for my transfer to Belleville. I will be so happy to live in a city where I don't have to constantly be looking around to see if the ex is following me!

Never say "Forever"

I never thought I would say this, but a short 4 months into the marriage I have to say that it is over. I just sit here shaking my head, amazed at how one person can change with the utterance of a few words at a wedding ceremony. And change he did and not for the better either. Controlling, domineering and downright miserable. He betrayed my trust in him and he is out the door. After having lived through a 10 year abusive first marriage, I am definitely in no mind to go through an emotionally abusive second marriage. Life is far too short for that.

So I am on my own again and enjoying my freedom. I have been machine knitting with a vengeance, enjoying my newfound freedom from a repressed creativity. It is amazing how one person can be so oppressive of another. I feel like I have been let loose from prison, enjoying all aspects of life anew and it is wonderful.The only thing lacking right now is my piece of mind, because he has been coming by and harassing me. I do have papers filed for a move out of town and am hoping that that will come into being really soon. Then I will be able to rest easy and really start my life over again.

Here is a top I just finished on the knitting machine.

This sweater was made for a charity that I knit for - Mittens for Akkol.

CFS rears its ugly head

Just over 3 weeks until the wedding and I finally realized that I have been going through a relapse of chronic fatigue syndrome, the worst I have had in a few years. This was probably triggered by the chaotic move in May and I just can't seem to shake it. It is bad this time and I am just hoping I can manage the wedding okay.


For those of you who don't have chronic fatigue syndrome, it isn't treatable and is just a miserable state of being. I sleep 15 hours a day and am still so exhausted that I am pretty much on bedrest the rest of the time. I do manage to spend the time in an easy chair instead of a bed, but you get the idea. Just the thought of doing anything is exhausting and actually doing it can knock the wind out of you making it difficult to get through the rest of the day. Showering is more of a luxury than anything else and I depend on my partner for meal preparation most of the time. Exercise makes things worse, so it really comes down to trying to balance how much energy you have to expend so you don't overdo it and make things worse.


I do try to knit a bit some nights, and I cross stitch when I can. This typical type A personality just can't seem to sit and vegitate in front of the t.v. all the time :) I have had episodes that go on typically for months and then I start feeling better. That is, as long as I remember to rest during the episode and let my body get its energy resources back.


Thankfully, I have a very good friend planning the wedding for me, so that stress isn't an issue. The only thing I need to do is get my dress hemmed and pick up some shoes. I can't believe that it seemed like yesterday that November 5th felt so far away, and now it is just around the corner. Yikes!

New beginnings

It has been a busy few months along with a fibro flare up because of the humidity we have been getting. I have finally found a moment of sanity to sit and write.

I am please to announce that I am getting married again, after living 21 years on my own with just the kids. This is going to be the last time I get married, so hopefully all will be well :)

On a not so positive note I am still recovering from the move from h*ll. Never again will I allow my fiance to pack! I never realized how organized I was until this move where he did most of the packing. We moved mid-May and I am still digging out from under, although the end is finally in sight now. In a way, the disorganized move was good because I have had to confront a lot of things and issues to do with my abusive son, who I left three years ago. He was emotionally abusive and put me into a situation where I had to give up my knitting machines, he locked me out of the house after I left (which was illegal), and he destroyed most of my stash. I was so heartbroken at the time that I just shoved things aside until a later time when I felt I was more able to deal with things.

So now the time has come and I have been putting the past to rest. I have had to come to terms with not only the fact that half of my stash is missing, but also that I have gained quite a bit of weight on the new medication and that isn't likely to go away in a hurry. I used to buy a sweater's worth of yarn at a time, but when I got my yarn from the house I found that instead of two bags, I would only have one, and this went on for most of my yarns. I think touching my stash was the biggest heartbreak I could have suffered.

So I have been going through and looking for smaller projects to use up the smaller quantities of yarn. And I am in the process of replacing my two favourite machines - a Passap E6000 and a Brother 970. And I am starting out on a new leg of my life journey with a new partner. For the first time in a long time I feel at peace. I am happy with who I am and what I have accomplished. It has taken me three years to come to this point but that is the last of my baggage, unpacked and organized.

Talk to the Hand!

This post has been a while coming. I started it a month or so ago and wanted to let it sit before actually posting. I had to see if I was just overreacting or if this truly bothered me. And it bothers me so here is the post.


I am not sure why it is that people feel they have the right to give medical advice or that I even want it from a layperson. I mean, I am the one that has been suffering from the fibromyalgia and sleep disorder for a long time. I am university educated and have done an enormous amount of research on my own, trying to come up with new and more effective ways to deal with this. It is complicated and although I know people are well meaning, I have no interest in hearing their opinions on the various types of health care professionals that I should seek out. Firstly, I am on a pension and don't have the funds for alternative treatments. And secondly, there is no scientific evidence that these treatments work. I do take a number of supplements that have been shown to help sleep quality, but after all this time, just leave me be. As well meaning as the intention might be, it isn't helpful nor worth my precious energy.

I don't do mornings

I saw this saying on a tee shirt and realized that it is such an expression of my life now. I have written a lot about the positive aspects of Remeron, but failed to talk about some of the not so good things. I have gained a lot of weight and now have borderline hypertension. I am hoping that a change in diet and exercise will help these, but time will tell.


And now, I just don't do mornings! I sleep almost 12 hours straight. I go to bed by 11:30 and get up between 11 and 11:30 the next morning. Straight through except for a pee break or two. In fact, from the time I go to bed until my first pee break, I don't even move! Now this is unheard of for me, who used to have the bed torn apart within a few hours. Now my bed stays nicely made, with one or two turnings getting towards wake up time and that is all.


So of course, I don't do mornings. I can't change the sleep schedule. It won't shift ahead and well, it is unthinkable that I should try and shorten it. After 15 years my drug induced naps have cut out and sleeping this long at night is the price I pay for that. Is it worth it? Definitely. My quality of life, although still limited, is 100% better than it was 2 years ago. I just start my days later and work at home on my machines at night.


I guess the one thing that I have figured out through all of this is that everything comes at a price. I lose my mornings to get some quality of sleep and that is something I have to live with. I think the saddest part is the ridicule from the people who haven't walked in my shoes. If I hear one more time that "it must be nice ...." I think I might choke someone:) Long gone are the days where I was up at four and dropping into bed at ten. Also long gone is any sense that I have control over my body. It controls me now, dictating what I can and cannot do, when I sleep and for how long. It was so hard for me to accept this lack of control, but I have to say, it has been a lot better emotionally for me now that I have.

Dakota hard at work

I realized that it has probably been close to a year since I posted pictures of Dakota. Here he is, a year and 2 and a half months old. He has been working by my side for close to a year and has made such a wonderful difference in my life. I truly could not imagine life without him.

 

Spring is coming and head to head with local businesses

It isn't quite here yet, but spring is coming and with it comes more outings with Dakota. I love spring and summer. I have more energy and am in less pain which means I get out more. And of course, Kota loves it because he just loves to work!


Yesterday we went out and stopped at a local shop that sells second hand items. I was stopped rudely at the door with a "Please don't bring that dog in here!". I calmly told the owner that Kota is a service dog and the Human Rights Code gives me permission to bring him everywhere with me. I got a dirty look from the owner as he rushed his two huge dogs into a back room! His reason was that his dogs would go crazy if Kota was in the store. I am pleased to say that Kota behaved well despite the smell of the other dogs and the close scrutiny of the owner :)


Another business owner of a Mac's Milk franchise also gives me a hard time. I ended up complaining to the mayor and now the owner just leans over the counter to make sure Kota doesn't touch any of the food. Now that spring is here I will be frequenting that store more often and loving exercising my rights :) In all honesty I do have to say that people have been very good for the most part, with just a few thrown in to keep me on my toes.

Life is good

It has been a while since I posted. I am finally more busy with life things and have less fibromyalgia and sleep deprivation interference:) After  having spent 15 years a prisoner of my body, confined to a bed or wheelchair  the Remeron continues to make an improvement in my quality of life.I doubt that I will ever be able to function at the level I used to, but I am thankful that after a year, this medication is still causing changes in my life. My drug forced naps cut out about 2 months ago. Even with the medications I couldn't nap, so for the first time in 15 years I no longer have an afternoon nap. This was a big adjustment for me and I have had to take things slow to make sure that I am still getting the quality of sleep that I need.

Dakota went for his first restaurant trip yesterday and as usual, he was great. He did try to crawl under the table to stop a drunk from getting too close to me, but he made no attempt to  scrounge for scraps under the table or nearby. Some people didn't even know I had brought him in with me and I was impressed with his behaviour. Of course he got extra treats and was quite pleased with himself :)

Today we did WalMart again. This is only his second time there and itwas busy! I have to leave him walking on his own because I can't push  the cart with one hand and hold him at a tight heel. He did well with two exceptions.
One young guy deliberately enticed him to misbehave by waving his hand in front of Dakota's nose, despite the vest and badges Kota wears. Another time he had to sniff a baby's toes :) He loved babies for some reason so I have to keep  tight control there. He even did well when an older child came running  at him yelling "puppy!" . I kept Kota checked and calmly ased the child not to touch him and that he was working. Overall, not a bad outing at all and does Kota ever love to work! He gets excited when he thinks I am going out, works his heart out, and comes home pooped.

Kota never ceases to amaze me. He is truly a gift from God.

Dakota's trip to the hairdresser

I usually keep my hair short. Really short. I get what is called a razor cut where the hairdresser uses a straight razor to cut and thin my hair. I have been putting off getting my hair cut for a while. A long while actually - since early last summer. I was finally driven to getting it cut by, of all things, hot flashes. Yep, it is getting to be that time of life and when the hot flashes come my hair literally looks like I just got out of the shower. Not bad if it is short, but shoulder length thick hair takes forever to dry. In fact I timed it and it dries just in time for the next hot flash!

So a haircut was necessary and the next big question was whether or not to take Dakota. He has pretty much been by my side for the last 6 months and I couldn't imagine being without him. But the thought of a straight razor near my face and a dog that suddenly decided to act up in a new place caused some hesitance on my part. I wavered back and forth and then decided to take the plunge and take him. I figured at worst, I would end up with half a head of cut hair and I could just say it was the newest hairstyle :)

But of course Dakota surprised me again. We had one initial episode where he jumped  on someone while I was getting my hair washed, but settled down after that and was wonderful. Everyone at the salon marveled at how well behaved he was, how patient, and they couldn't believe he was owner trained. He definitely got extra treats when we got home and lots of praise. I am so glad I started working with dogs as a kid and I am proud of Kota and his never ending supply of great behaviour in public.

Learning to live again

It has been a while and the new medication continues to bring changes to my life. I realized in the last few weeks that I am learning to live again and it isn't always an easy thing. I literally had everything ripped out from under me. I was so exhausted all the time that I had great difficulty keeping appointments (my first priority) and any kind of schedule was out of the question. Simple things like showering were non-existent. I did it when I physically could, but showers were maybe once or twice a month unless I had an aide to help me. I remember being in tears because this type A personality wasn't used to not getting things done. Coming to terms with this fact was not only very hard, but very heartbreaking and it took away a lot of my self-esteem.

I have been struggling with learning to live again. After being bedridden for 10 years, in a wheelchair, and feeling totally humiliated because this body wouldn't do what I wanted it to do, I guess I gave up, thinking things would never get better. I was tired of trying a new medication, feeling the hope if I felt a bit better, only to have it dashed after a few months. I have spent a good part of the past year waiting for the inevitable crash that always came. But it hasn't.

I was stuck between the old way and a new way and I finally realized that I needed to give myself permission to move forward. The routines, which I gave up on and came to hate, are now beginning to be a part of my life again. I still remember the devastation that not being able to perform simple routines brought me, and I am trying to heal from that and move forward. I am being cautiously optimistic now, but it feels good.

My knitting has also changed. Hand knitting kept me going for all those years. It made me feel productive, like I could still contribute to society even if it was in a small way. Now I have been spending every night at my knitting machines, enjoying them like I never have before. I put on an audio book and just knit away. My concentration has definitely improved and I am loving it. Here is a sock that I have been refining for the standard gauge knitting machine.

machine knit sock with Eye of Partridge heel and shaped arch

 

I had abandoned my knitting needles for the past six months. They brought back too many bad memories. I hadn't realized how sick I was until now and I now know why my children are angry with me. The severe sleep deprivation made me prone to emotional outbursts. I couldn't remember conversations that we had had that morning. And I couldn't be counted on to follow through on things, even though I wanted to. Fifteen years of this is enough to drive anyone to their limit. I existed, but I didn't live.

So in an attempt to get my needles clicking again, I pulled out the yarn and pattern for Round Trip, from Knitters72. I have wanted to make this for a long time and actually started it once but it ended up languishing like so many of my knitting attempts.I couldn't follow through and finish an item and ended up just giving up. But I am enjoying working on this now and think that I will be able to actually finish it. What a change for me!

Dakota does WalMart

I had to go to WalMart yesterday. I had put it off until I really had no choice and I was hemming and hawing about taking Kota with me. He has done well at Metro, the grocery store, but I always go to a quieter one with wider aisles. I knew WalMart was going to be packed, especially this close to Christmas, and the aisles barely allow two carts to pass.

So I thought about it while having my tea in the morning and decided that I couldn't imagine going without Dakota. He has been by my side constantly since he was 3 or 4 months old and now it feels like he is an extension of me. I know I can depend on him to tell me when things aren't good, and I have really given up worrying about it because he lets me know. So off we went.

I have to say that this dog was born to work. I got a cart at WalMart (he has never spooked over walking beside a cart). We fought the crowds of people while I picked up the few things I needed. Luckily I have been teaching him to heel without tugging on the leash because I had to let him loose so I could use two hands to push the cart. I only had to slightly correct him once and that was because a little girl came at him with her hands. If I stop, he automatically sits. If I am standing for a while, he lies down, all without commands. I am so proud of him and you can tell that he is proud of himself for doing such a good job. I truly feel blessed to have him in my life.

And now for the little things in life.

Here is Jasper, enjoying the view from my living room window. Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful to be a cat :)

Dakota and vets

It has been a while since I wrote about Dakota. He is still going strong, doing the job he was born to do.  We had a few rough months when I started on my new medication. He wasn't alerting as much and just didn't know what to do with himself. He went from alerting almost constantly to alerting a few times a day or every several days. Poor thing went through an identity crisis but I think we have worked most of that out. He still has his moments where he gets into trouble when I am up and doing something. He still isn't used to me being out of my chair so much and being more active.

He has come up with a couple of neat tricks on his own. Now if I am sitting and he is alerting, he will take one of my hands and force me to touch him. If I pull my hand away, he keeps doing this until I focus on him. I guess this pulls me out of my zoned out state and he is actually getting quite good at it. The other trick that perhaps isn't so neat is that when I am working at my knitting machine and I am tired, he will purposely pull out a cone of yarn and start chewing on the cardboard. He never touches my yarn otherwise - just when I guess he thinks I should be resting instead of knitting.

We have had a bit of bad news and I am trying not to get too upset over it. We had to make an emergency trip to the vet in September and then another one yesterday. Both times Dakota was lame in at least two legs,without any trauma or reason for it. This time he was in quite a bit a pain, to the point where he hadn't eaten for almost two days (unheard of for Dakota). He has been diagnosed with OCD (no, not obsessive compulsive disorder). I still don't fully understand it, but he is on pain meds and a supplement which will hopefully help. Actually I think the supplement is helping more than the pain meds. The last time this happened, it took 5 days for him to stop limping. I gave him a dose yesterday with this pain med and he was much better this morning, so here is hoping that the supplement will do the trick. I so hate seeing him in pain.

The down side according to the vet is that dogs with this condition almost always develop arthritis at an early age. This part is heartbreaking for me, but I know Dakota will fight to keep going as long as he can and I will just enjoy our time together. He definitely is one of a kind and I don't think I will have another dog after he leaves this earth. I just feel really blessed that I have had the opportunity to have a dog like Dakota in my lifetime.

Where did the time go?

Wow, I can't believe how fast the last month went by! And now we have had our semi-annual time change so we are set until the spring.

I have been having a blast working on my machines. For the first time in about 15 years I have been able to get into a schedule again where I can pretty much do things on a daily basis. This is an amazing milestone for me and I have to get out of the old and get into the new. After 15 years of not being able to count on myself, it is hard to set goals and schedules now. I went through so much depression when I couldn't meet my goals, now I am a bit afraid to do it, but I am getting there. I work on my machines every late afternoon/evening and thoroughly enjoy that time. I have also recently started to listen to audio books while knitting and I am amazed at how good my concentration is for that time of the day.

Mornings are still a bit rough until I have my midday nap, but they are better. I have started a light exercise regime every 2nd or 3rd morning just for 10 minutes or so. I have found that my right leg is extremely weak so I am working on building up my leg muscles again. After being bedridden and in a wheelchair so long I guess it took its toll.

I do have to admit that  I have been pushing the boundaries of the Remeron to see where it stop, but so far it hasn't. I was a bit concerned that my naps had shortened, but about 3 weeks ago, after a particularly rough week, they started getting longer again. It has been pretty consistent since then. I will have a few days of shorter naps, then a day or two with an extra hour to hour and a half. This was one of the biggest problems with my sleep - I didn't get sleep rebound. Normally when one is overtired, the sleep period will get longer to compensate and the sleep will be better and more condense. They did 7 sleep studies on me because they couldn't believe I didn't rebound with the amount of sleep deprivation I was suffering from. I do have to say after all these years that rebound is a good thing :)

The cold weather has hit and I have been on a sock kick. I have been making these on the knitting machines because I simply can't knit quick enough to replace the 10 pairs my son ruined. And quite frankly, at this point in time I would much rather be machines knitting and I have been doing very little hand knitting. My down time is usually taken up with sewing things together, although I do manage a row or two here and there.

Woman versus machine

It has baeen a while since I posted. The Remeron seems to have peaked with the body healing part and now I am moving on to learning new lifestyle changes. I have found through the years that when a medication is helping, it takes about 3 months for my body to do some healing, then another 3 months to adapt to a new way of life on the new medication. I always give things 6 months to stabilize before I give a thumbs up or down. I got thrown for a bit of a loop this time because my old pharmacy had me on the wrong medication for a month and I had to recover from that.

Lately I have been back to my first love, machine knitting. I had my first machines back in 1985, 2 Brothers which my ex disposed of when I left him. Then I lost my machines again 2 years ago when I left my abusive son, including my beloved Passap. I have started building up again and have a Brother 260, and Singer 560 and a Singer 700. I never really worked on the Singers before now and I do have to say that I like them, especially the lace carriage, which transfers and knits in the same row. I find it so much easier to push and it sounds gentler on the needles than the Brother did.

I was trying to finish off a sweater last night. I am making Primula by Carl Boyd. I happened to have some Crocus Yeoman Panama on hand and Carl was kind enough to help me lengthen the top. I also found that I could use lace card #6 on my Singer for the lace pattern, as long as I remembered to advance it one row every second row to eliminate the extra plain knit row. I was happy, especially after hand transferring the first sleeve.

So yesterday afternoon I sat to do the lace around the front and back neck. Easy enough, right? Not! The machine and my brain wouldn't cooperate. I must have ripped that piece out 6 times before I finally got it right. I had stitches dropping, I forgot the edge pins, dropped a stitch somewhere, etc. etc. But woman did win out over machine and I got the front and back pieces done. Now I just have to sew everything together.

In the meantime, after many years of wanting to do this, I made leggings to wear under my pants in the winter. One pair are sewn together and I have two others in various stages of finishing. I am still enjoying the feeling that I was able to finally bring an idea that I have had for about 10 years  to fruition. Yup, the Remeron seems to be helping a lot! Now most of my resting time is spent sewing things together because I am knitting faster than I can finish!

Yes, some days life is good!