Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I don't do mornings

I saw this saying on a tee shirt and realized that it is such an expression of my life now. I have written a lot about the positive aspects of Remeron, but failed to talk about some of the not so good things. I have gained a lot of weight and now have borderline hypertension. I am hoping that a change in diet and exercise will help these, but time will tell.

And now, I just don't do mornings! I sleep almost 12 hours straight. I go to bed by 11:30 and get up between 11 and 11:30 the next morning. Straight through except for a pee break or two. In fact, from the time I go to bed until my first pee break, I don't even move! Now this is unheard of for me, who used to have the bed torn apart within a few hours. Now my bed stays nicely made, with one or two turnings getting towards wake up time and that is all.

So of course, I don't do mornings. I can't change the sleep schedule. It won't shift ahead and well, it is unthinkable that I should try and shorten it. After 15 years my drug induced naps have cut out and sleeping this long at night is the price I pay for that. Is it worth it? Definitely. My quality of life, although still limited, is 100% better than it was 2 years ago. I just start my days later and work at home on my machines at night.

I guess the one thing that I have figured out through all of this is that everything comes at a price. I lose my mornings to get some quality of sleep and that is something I have to live with. I think the saddest part is the ridicule from the people who haven't walked in my shoes. If I hear one more time that "it must be nice ...." I think I might choke someone:) Long gone are the days where I was up at four and dropping into bed at ten. Also long gone is any sense that I have control over my body. It controls me now, dictating what I can and cannot do, when I sleep and for how long. It was so hard for me to accept this lack of control, but I have to say, it has been a lot better emotionally for me now that I have.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Dakota hard at work

I realized that it has probably been close to a year since I posted pictures of Dakota. Here he is, a year and 2 and a half months old. He has been working by my side for close to a year and has made such a wonderful difference in my life. I truly could not imagine life without him.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Spring is coming and head to head with local businesses

It isn't quite here yet, but spring is coming and with it comes more outings with Dakota. I love spring and summer. I have more energy and am in less pain which means I get out more. And of course, Kota loves it because he just loves to work!

Yesterday we went out and stopped at a local shop that sells second hand items. I was stopped rudely at the door with a "Please don't bring that dog in here!". I calmly told the owner that Kota is a service dog and the Human Rights Code gives me permission to bring him everywhere with me. I got a dirty look from the owner as he rushed his two huge dogs into a back room! His reason was that his dogs would go crazy if Kota was in the store. I am pleased to say that Kota behaved well despite the smell of the other dogs and the close scrutiny of the owner :)

Another business owner of a Mac's Milk franchise also gives me a hard time. I ended up complaining to the mayor and now the owner just leans over the counter to make sure Kota doesn't touch any of the food. Now that spring is here I will be frequenting that store more often and loving exercising my rights :) In all honesty I do have to say that people have been very good for the most part, with just a few thrown in to keep me on my toes.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Life is good

It has been a while since I posted. I am finally more busy with life things and have less fibromyalgia and sleep deprivation interference:) After  having spent 15 years a prisoner of my body, confined to a bed or wheelchair  the Remeron continues to make an improvement in my quality of life.I doubt that I will ever be able to function at the level I used to, but I am thankful that after a year, this medication is still causing changes in my life. My drug forced naps cut out about 2 months ago. Even with the medications I couldn't nap, so for the first time in 15 years I no longer have an afternoon nap. This was a big adjustment for me and I have had to take things slow to make sure that I am still getting the quality of sleep that I need.

Dakota went for his first restaurant trip yesterday and as usual, he was great. He did try to crawl under the table to stop a drunk from getting too close to me, but he made no attempt to  scrounge for scraps under the table or nearby. Some people didn't even know I had brought him in with me and I was impressed with his behaviour. Of course he got extra treats and was quite pleased with himself :)

Today we did WalMart again. This is only his second time there and itwas busy! I have to leave him walking on his own because I can't push  the cart with one hand and hold him at a tight heel. He did well with two exceptions.
One young guy deliberately enticed him to misbehave by waving his hand in front of Dakota's nose, despite the vest and badges Kota wears. Another time he had to sniff a baby's toes :) He loved babies for some reason so I have to keep  tight control there. He even did well when an older child came running  at him yelling "puppy!" . I kept Kota checked and calmly ased the child not to touch him and that he was working. Overall, not a bad outing at all and does Kota ever love to work! He gets excited when he thinks I am going out, works his heart out, and comes home pooped.

Kota never ceases to amaze me. He is truly a gift from God.